Afterlife
by rainbowrocket
Summary: "It's the afterlife, Luke. Heaven or whatever you want to call it." Reid paused and then added thoughtfully, "I'm quite surprised I ended up at this end."
1. Prologue

Hello dear reader!

This is my first As The World Turns story, ever!

With that said, I should probably let you know that I have never seen a full episode of the show. Only clips on YouTube...so my knowledge of the characters isn't that great, and my characterization will most likely be very, very off.

If you could leave constructive comments, and not flat out hater comments, that would be nice. I'd like to know what needs some work, not how stupid I am for not knowing the characters and their personalities.

Otherwise, I hope you enjoy the story, and again if you could help me where you see fit, I would greatly appreciate it!

[rainbowrocket]

* * *

"Mom?"

"I'm here baby." She knelt down next to her son in the hospital bed and took his hand in hers. Her son had a permanent grimace of pain on his face and looked so fragile, so weak, lying there. The end was near, she knew that much.

He opened his dry mouth and tried to get the words out. He tried, he really did. But they wouldn't come. He wanted to cry. He couldn't even tell his own mother, on his death bed, that he loved her. Like words however, tears wouldn't come either and the frustrated noise he aimed to make was just a tiny squeak, followed by a twisted expression to show that the effort was causing him pain.

"I love you, too, honey." His mother kissed the back of his hand, and he thanked the strange mother-son bond that they shared. The one that allowed them to know what the other was thinking. "Just rest, sweetheart, don't fight anymore. We all love you, just know that."

He attempted a nod, but it sent a strange feeling through his body. Instead, he closed his eyes and let sleep come to him.

Only this time it wasn't sleep.

He wouldn't be waking up after this.


	2. Chapter One

Luke opened his eyes slowly. His head felt like a sloshing fishbowl, and his eyes weren't focused; he couldn't see anything clearly but he could feel the soft mattress under his back. It was different than the cramped cot he had been in earlier. He wondered where that went. Had he gotten better? Had his mother and siblings taken him home, to his own bed? He prayed that was the case.

Slowly sitting up he studied his surroundings, as his vision was becoming clearer. There were two twin beds in the room: the one he was on, and an untouched one. They both sported the same tacky print bedspread with a cheap wooden nightstand in between them. The TV in front of the beds was playing a Texas Rangers game, and the bathroom door around the corner was closed, but the light was on and there was movement from inside.

Suddenly, it became very clear where he was.

This was the hotel that he and Reid had stayed in, when the doctor had to return to Dallas to fix the charges of malpractice he'd been accused of. This was the place where their relationship had taken a turn—for better than worse. This was the place where they had first kissed, and while Luke may have been taken off guard, and hadn't really shared the kiss, it still counted as their first.

This was a special memory that Luke kept in the back of his mind, always. But why he was here now, was a mystery. Why would his mom take him from Oakdale to Dallas, especially to this hotel, and this room? Something was not right, Luke knew that much. Now frightened, Luke rose to his feet—but slowly. He was anticipating the pain that would follow. His whole body had been in pain for the past month, which meant he had to be careful with his movements.

To add to the mystery: Luke felt nothing when he stood up. It was as easy as it was before he got sick. No pain, no nothing.

"Oh no," He said, a little too loudly, and looked at himself in the reflection of the mirror hanging on the wall. Was he…he could be…he had to be—

"Luke?"

Luke spun around and ran to Reid, falling into his arms, and holding onto him tightly. Tears escaped his eyes and he sobbed into his lover's shoulder. Reid clung to him just as tight, and rubbed his back as Luke broke down in his arms.

"Sssh, sssh Luke, it's alright, it's okay."

"I love you," Luke whispered, but his voice was husky with tears, "I love you so much."


	3. Chapter Two

"Where are we?"

"Oh no Mr. Snyder, I get to ask the questions first."

Luke had calmed down quite a bit, and was now lying on one of the beds with Reid. His head was resting on Reid's chest, though he couldn't hear a heartbeat. Reid idly played with Luke's blonde hair, which had grown a significant amount since Reid's death, and was now past his ears. After Luke had stopped his hysterics, Reid had made him laugh by saying, "You have the typical hooligan hair going on."

"Hooligan," Luke had laughed, "Who says that anymore?"

"Fine," Luke finally said, "What do you want to know?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well if I knew what this place was—."

"It's the afterlife, Luke. Heaven or whatever you want to call it." Reid paused and then added thoughtfully, "I'm quite surprised I ended up at this end."

"This is much different than I thought it would be."

"Everyone has their own personal view of heaven, Luke. That's something I found out. I can go see my parents any time I want, but it's in their heaven, not mine. When people come to see me, they come here." He motioned around the room, "And if I want to," He paused and snapped his fingers. The room changed from the hotel in Dallas to the bar in Dallas where Luke and Reid had both rode the mechanical bull. "My view can change."

Reid changed the view back to the hotel room, and an awed Luke looked at him with wide eyes. "That is _crazy_!"

"Yes, yes it is. But you know what else is crazy? The fact that you are dead,"

His bluntness ruined Luke's curiosity and the younger man looked at his hands. "Well..."

"How did this happen? What went wrong? Why are you here?"

"You don't want to know, okay?"

"But I do! Just because I've been gone a while, doesn't mean I ever stopped loving you!"

Luke bit his lip, knowing that his reply would upset Reid. Instead he stayed quiet until the doctor ran his fingers over Luke's cheek and said softly,

"Please. Tell me."

Luke looked up at his boyfriend with shameful eyes, which were only met by soft, caring ones. "I…after you died, I tried to move on with life—tried to be optimistic and have a great outlook. People expected me to. They expected me to grieve for a while, but then get back on track with the neuro-wing planning and the foundation. Noah wanted me to go out and visit him in California. There was just too much going on, I felt like I didn't have enough time to properly let you go."

Luke felt Reid's body tense. "Please don't tell me you…" Reid whispered in a tone of fear.

"No, no!" Luke cried, knowing that Reid assumed he had brought death upon himself. "I just…I just stopped."

"Stopped what?"

"Everything," Luke told him. "I stopped going out, I stopped talking to people, and I stopped leaving my room. I didn't go in to work on anything for the foundations; I didn't do anything around the house. I forgot to go in for checkups and as it turns out, while I was lying around in my bedroom wasting away, I truly _was _wasting away. My kidney had developed an infection. It was really bad…it wasn't too much later that I ended up here."

Luke looked at Reid again, but the older man did not look into his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Luke asked.

"Why, Luke?"

"Why what," Luke was puzzled.

"Why didn't you take care of yourself? Why did you just give up? Life is worth living, you shouldn't have just stopped because of me."

"I tried to keep living, but there was just too much pressure. I couldn't just go back to my normal life. I was _grieving, _but no one seemed to notice."

"You need to let people know when you feel overwhelmed."

"I tried, Reid. I really did. It wasn't as easy as people say it is. I was having nightmares and breaking down in the middle of the day, over the smallest things. And people understood I was upset, but they didn't give me space or time. It was like 'oh, Luke is upset today, we'll stop bugging him until tomorrow'. I couldn't take it. I think it was because of how strong I made myself out to be. Especially recently with Noah; I made it seem that I was the rock for the two of us, but you know how I really was."

"Scared out of your mind,"

"Exactly," Luke nodded. "I wasn't the rock people thought I was. And I wasn't the rock people thought I would be after you passed away. I was so unstable that it wasn't even funny, and I found myself hating people I shouldn't have held anything against."

"Like whom?"

"Katie."

"Katie? Why?"

"This sounds so horrible. But I was jealous that she got the best side of you, all the time. It took us a while before we could get along."

"She didn't get the best of me during our first meeting."

"I didn't get the best of you until after Dallas…and even then it was on and off."

Reid gave a shrugged agreement. "That makes a bit of sense, who else were you upset with?"

"Bob."

"Why Bob?"

"He could have sent someone else to pick up his son's heart—why, he could have gone himself!"

"But I said I would go."

"But he could have stopped you, and sent someone else."

"But Luke, _I offered_!"

"I know, I know." Luke looked at his hands, ashamed. "I told you, I had no right to be pissed at these people."

"Is there anyone else?" Reid asked, simply curious.

Luke nodded, and took a deep shuddery breath before he said, "Afterwards I couldn't look at Chris Hughes without resenting him— I found myself wondering why he couldn't have told everyone about his illness sooner. Why we couldn't have helped him before things got bad. Why he _had _to hold off until last minute, causing you to rush out for his transplant, which only lead to your death! I wondered how he could just keep on living knowing that your heart was beating in his chest; I wondered if he felt guilty at all for waiting so long."

Reid was quiet for a moment. His lips were pressed together in a thoughtful line and he seemed to be considering that one the most.

"I told them I wanted him to have my heart, you know."

"I know," Luke nodded.

"But I do sometimes wonder, if things might have been different if he hadn't waited so long."

"So I'm not the only one."

"Yes, I suppose. But I've learned to not hold grudges. You learn that in heaven. How to let things go—what's done is done."

It was Luke's turn to think for a bit. There was nothing but silence in the room before Luke finally muttered, "I'm sorry."

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry," He repeated, a little louder. "I'm sorry that I just gave up. I know that's not what you wanted me to do, and all I've ever wanted to do, since I met you, is make you happy."

"You do make me happy," Reid took Luke's hand in his. "You made me happy, even after I died."

"Could you see me?" Luke asked.

"No," Reid shook his head, "I opt not to look down at the living. It only makes me upset that I'm not there, now. I may be older than you, but I'm still young. I had no reason to leave the earth so soon."

"Then how did I make you happy?"

"Just the thought of you, and the times we had together. Like I said before the accident: I love you, and, do you think that's changed just because I'm dead?"

"No," Luke felt a small smile on his lips. Then he put his hand on Reid's cheek. "I love you, too. And I've missed you so, so much. When you died, part of me died too."

"Now all of you is dead." Reid said, and Luke scowled.

"We've established this, and I've already told you that I didn't mean for it to happen."

"The fact that it did, still upsets me. But the selfish part of my brain is glad that you're here with me, now."

"My whole brain is glad that I'm here with you now." Luke sat up, straddled Reid's legs, peering down at him. "I love you, Doctor Oliver. Did I mention that already?"

"I don't believe so, Mr. Snyder. Could you please give me an example of how much you love me?"

He smirked and pressed his lips to Reid's. They were as soft and warm as ever, and Luke felt like he was melting as they kissed softly and slowly. The younger man let his hands roam all over his lover, feeling the body that he hadn't been able to cling to since Reid's death. Not that it was the same body that he used to know, but the one he was in now was not the same as the one Reid used to know. They looked the same, and they felt the same, but they were past the earthly flesh and bones.

Unwillingly, Luke pulled away with a whimper as Reid broke the kiss and sat up, keeping Luke in his lap. "I missed you, I've missed you, I've missed you." He whispered into the crook of Luke's neck. Luke let his fingers slide through the short red hair and he rested his other palm on the small of the doctor's back.

"I've missed you—I've missed _this_."

They kissed again quickly, before Luke put on a smug look, and snapped his fingers. The two were now sitting on a king-sized bed in the middle of a sunny, breezy Hawaiian bungalow. Reid looked around and asked confused, "What is this?"

"Really, Reid…you kept your heaven as the place where we shared our first kiss. Living in the past much? It's time to move forward, now that we've reunited."

Reid blushed, but only slightly, "I didn't want to forget where it all started. I couldn't let the feeling of the beginning go." Then he eyed Luke, "It's funny Mr. Snyder, that's where you ended up when you arrived."

Luke smiled, "That may be so, but I think it's just because I knew where to find you."

Reid couldn't argue with that. "You can't keep true love apart."

"Never," Luke agreed, "Now, may we continue with the program?"

Reid's blush became a deeper shade of red as Luke rested his hand on his lower abs, so close to the button of his jeans. "Yes, yes Luke. We can continue."

* * *

A/N:

Why hello there again my lovely reader! If you've made it to this author's note, I must thank you for reading my story so far! It's wonderful that I have somebody who is the slightest bit interested in what will happen!

I just thought I'd post this nice note to apologize for how unrealistic this chapter was. The way Luke died-becoming a hermit and getting a kidney infection? It was the best I could think of seeing as I will be saving certain deaths for other characters along the way...NOT TRYING TO GIVE ANYTHING AWAY!

As for the idea of being able to change your view of Heaven, that was taken from Supernatural. So it was not my idea. I do not own it, I am just using it, because I think it's a pretty swell idea.

Other than that I hope you've been enjoying it and again thanks for reading!


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